通常人人都说
在外面混够了 就会慢慢想家
受够了一切苦痛 就会回家
偏偏我这疯女孩
做了一个很与众不同的抉择
我 就是选择自己一个人
来到这陌生的地方求学
想说可以得到更好的教育
是的 没错
我得到很好的教育
可是就是很愧疚
我每天都在花爸爸妈妈辛辛苦苦赚的钱
想说 如果可以打工赚个外快
至少不会用那么多 还可以自己支付一些琐碎的东西
偏偏 我就是不好运
老板把店给卖了
我假期回来上课 没有钱赚了
剩下的只有 坐在家里
就这样过了一个月
新的老板叫我去做工
很开心有得赚钱
好让我可以开心地买材料 印彩色纸
每个人就是不一样
每个老板大有不同
就是这个老板
竟然在本小姐清洗的时候 跟我说
顾客在看你
我的天呀 老板 请问你是哑巴吗
我现在帮忙你赚钱
你有良心的没有
你去看下是会少一块肉是吗
接收餐单更可笑
明明是一张纸可以解决的东西
可是你就是要搞到那样复杂
我知道你有电脑系统
可是你就是不能变通一点吗
写在纸上了就算了吧
反正钱都是照样收
人家又不会因为你用手写而不给你钱
偏偏一定要在电脑那边按按按
然后搞到世界打乱那样
然后最后出了什么差错 又在那边赖东赖西
我每次帮你们检查你们做的东西
少了我都会去问
进到厨房又好像做错事那样
让厨房的人把我当笑话
用那种‘你不知道吗’ 的眼神秒杀
让我无地自容
有一次我说
没关系 我下次再看你怎样按 我们省下纸张 爱护地球
你竟然跟我说 要帮你省钱 不是环保
我管你要付多点钱买打印纸没有
你这个人 应该算的不算
不应该算的 跟我在那边算
那个热炉 明明就是开了两个小时多应该要关
你就说 为什么关掉
现在你开心了吗
你的员工 我 烫伤不知道几多次料
我在怀疑我值得为你们受这点伤吗
我明明就是爸爸的掌上明珠 全家人的公主
平日都不打扫 不洗碗 不做家务
来到给你们折磨
可能我自己很矛盾
你可以说 我自己要去做工的 活该
可是 可以至少把我当人那样来对待吗
虽然你是花钱请我做工 但是可以做一个有道德的老板吗
我真的不知道我会为了那一点臭钱 再帮你几久
我其实真的不用那么冤枉 饱受这样的委屈
就为了你那称不上仁道的工资
今天 道理来说 我迟到
是我的错 可是小姐也没怎样
但是我就是饿了也没有叫食物吃 因为我知道厨房很忙
没有必要特别煮给我
我就是这样饿到饱了 宵夜都吃不下
我实在想不到可以吃什么
我就是什么都不想吃
因为没有妈妈爱心的味道
我不喜欢
我最近真的很奇怪
身体就是有对事物的抗体
除了早餐 其他我真的没有想到可以吃什么
也不会特别想吃什么 就算吃 都是为了填肚子而吃
我到底怎么了
我今天洗了人生中最多杯子的一天
我的玉手已经完全毁灭了
皱皱的手 加上烫伤的红
是无法被理解的
加上我心里上的不平衡更是无法被取代
我应该炸老板鱿鱼吗？
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
Architecture and Landscape Life #1
In another 28 days, I'm having my final review for current project
Everyday, I'm struggling whether how should I alter this alter that
where, I didnt really have my final design yet TT
Please kill me, shot me =/
I chose a way that I should be happy
and yet I'm struggling every single day
to determine myself
to identify myself
to search for myself
Can someone please slap me in the face and tell me what to do
Life oh Life, why are you so torturing
Everyday, I'm struggling whether how should I alter this alter that
where, I didnt really have my final design yet TT
Please kill me, shot me =/
I chose a way that I should be happy
and yet I'm struggling every single day
to determine myself
to identify myself
to search for myself
Can someone please slap me in the face and tell me what to do
Life oh Life, why are you so torturing
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
You-Kay
Never ever thought that I would leave this page here for so long
part of the reason is because gadgets are much more convenient now
honestly
I never wanted to own a smartphone
until I really need it to survive in this country
After finishing first year in UKC and having a long 4 months holiday
I came back again
surviving alone in this land
Life goes on after holidays
I went Langkawi
Penang
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And I am here now writing this post
that I am not sure what is it meant for
I need a break.
慢慢地
自己变得不再是熟悉的自己
也改掉了自己一贯的脾气
自以为自己已经收敛了很多
可是好像就是得不到别人的认可
曾以为自己已经度过了那颓废的日子
往后的日子一定很有意义
偏偏人生就是一座大山丘
陡坡不断
平地已是过去的童话故事
人生的考验
还在逐渐靠近
身边可靠的人越来越少
背后藏着屠刀的人越来越多
爱你的人越来越少
讨厌你的人越来越多
真正对你好的人越来越少
带着面具对你的人越来越多
我奢望的不多
只是一个可以让我卸下武装的角落
让我静静的哭泣也好
打坐也好
怎么都好
我那飞行的翅膀
去了哪儿
看来这一次
不知道又要走几多步来替代
才能化解心中的疑惑
再这陌生的街头
除了在街头独自行走
独自掉泪
独自徘徊
独自反省
我真的不知道我还有能力做什么
这世界
就是不会因为有我
变得有那么一点点的不同
Thursday, February 28, 2013
March is hereee
Before I start with the very first post in 2013,
first thought in my mind is,
I SHOULD CHANGE BLOG SKIN =.=
Okay, No where comes 2013,
and March is here.
A little bit of update,
I'm studying in UK, alone, now, since last September.
I abandoned this blog for a long time and felt so sorry that I didnt write any new post.
SO NOW HERE I AM!
21
Yea, I'm 21 years old now, on the 10th of February, which is also the first day of CNY this year.
SUPPOSE: It's my birthday, angpao should be bigger? or double? Maybe?
TRUTH: Nothing changed =.=
Anyways, I had a great chinese new year, it's okay!
I got a lot to say, but I'm so lazy. =[
wait till the next time then,
Buai Buai~
first thought in my mind is,
I SHOULD CHANGE BLOG SKIN =.=
Okay, No where comes 2013,
and March is here.
A little bit of update,
I'm studying in UK, alone, now, since last September.
I abandoned this blog for a long time and felt so sorry that I didnt write any new post.
SO NOW HERE I AM!
21
Yea, I'm 21 years old now, on the 10th of February, which is also the first day of CNY this year.
SUPPOSE: It's my birthday, angpao should be bigger? or double? Maybe?
TRUTH: Nothing changed =.=
Anyways, I had a great chinese new year, it's okay!
I got a lot to say, but I'm so lazy. =[
wait till the next time then,
Buai Buai~
Thursday, July 19, 2012
unoccupied
yes, currently unoccupied, I'm a pre-U graduate thou,
waiting for the results is the longest time of my life,
it feels like everything stops at the moment and you can't get to go to the future.
let's get a quick memory glance for the last month,
yea, prom passed in just one night and that's a crazy night,
summer escape to Perhentian Island,
beautiful island!!! although I became tan when I got back
but I like the colour, I'm glad I liked that colour,
too bad it's gone =[
and of course, thanks to the best snorkelling tour guide,
I got to see everything interesting things happening in the sea
I wanna go back there again
some days away from the normal life is so so cool!!
and I actually know his name, hahaha, but I swear I'm not telling it in case someone use it for other purpose ( you know who you are)
hahahahaha
I'm studying in BC (British Council) at the moment,
two weeks of taking LRT to class, to go home,
quite an experience of course, but it's also dangerous to walk home alone,
somehow, I still walk home alone, hahaha, yes I'm crazy
pray that I could obtain a high band for IELTS,
after all, should make every cents spent worth it. TRUE~
waiting for the results is the longest time of my life,
it feels like everything stops at the moment and you can't get to go to the future.
let's get a quick memory glance for the last month,
yea, prom passed in just one night and that's a crazy night,
summer escape to Perhentian Island,
beautiful island!!! although I became tan when I got back
but I like the colour, I'm glad I liked that colour,
too bad it's gone =[
and of course, thanks to the best snorkelling tour guide,
I got to see everything interesting things happening in the sea
I wanna go back there again
some days away from the normal life is so so cool!!
and I actually know his name, hahaha, but I swear I'm not telling it in case someone use it for other purpose ( you know who you are)
hahahahaha
I'm studying in BC (British Council) at the moment,
two weeks of taking LRT to class, to go home,
quite an experience of course, but it's also dangerous to walk home alone,
somehow, I still walk home alone, hahaha, yes I'm crazy
pray that I could obtain a high band for IELTS,
after all, should make every cents spent worth it. TRUE~
Friday, May 11, 2012
生气
活到酱大
第一次读书读到如此生气！
生气自己 什么都不会
生气自己 读了还不会
生气自己 问了还不懂
生气自己 看了五六遍还是一样
生气自己 作么没有那么聪明
生气自己 要硬撑
生气自己 上课没有听好来
生气自己 给了钱去补习还是不会
生气自己 有这么高难度的梦想
生气自己 没那个能耐怎么会想出国念书
生气自己 是常常问问题那个 而不是解答
生气自己 不努力读书 浪费钱
生气自己 这么没志气
生气自己 天天要问人 烦到死
生气自己 考到没脸见人的成绩
生气自己 不能好好坐下来读书
生气自己 读不会的时候发脾气
生气自己 当初为何做出如此的选择
生气自己 笨到问人的时候给人家酸
生气自己 没有本事
生气自己 不能独立的完成一件事
生气自己 不能勇敢的踏出那一步
生气自己 看不见自己的未来
生气自己 整天只会玩
生气自己 现在才发现自己那么懦弱
生气自己 找不到答案
生气自己 竟然会不好意思问人
生气自己 想哭都哭不出
Friday, April 27, 2012
27th April 2012
In a sudden mood of blogging so I am here
Things happened these few months
It will be a long story to list out everything
so generally, I am still good I suppose.
Except that for the very second time
I actually cried because of my studies (yea, second time too bad lar)
Cuz the last time was when the day before I have my KH and History paper in Form3 I guess
I'm so stupid that I thought that arranging the schedule like that is a disaster
and there's a lot to study
so i end up crying there *failure*
But after that I continue to study for the exam *determined!!*
so this time was few days ago when I couldn't solve most of the maths past year question
I think like 60% and I just blanked in front of the paper *sob sob*
Staring at those questions, flipping through my notes to think how to do
where at last i did nothing but written some wrong and dunno what the crap i wrote =.=
thought of asking my housemate but a bit ashamed (what reason is this?!)
Reason: I'm afraid that I will disturb them and the question seemed so easy so if i go to ask them, I felt myself like a big fat loser, haha (so I admit it, face's value priceless!!)
conclusion: sitting there sobbing, then planned to go to ask lecturer the next day. (where's the face's value then? CRAP! )
by the way, we (my classmates and me) planned a trip to Pulau Perhentian, and I'm excited plus anticipating the trip. But big business, final exams first.
To be honest, I didnt did very well for my exams. So I pray my hard work will give out pretty results
this time. *fingers cross*
We're graduating! so much of fun but thought of leaving current path and stepping forward to another path was much of scaring/happy/dunno what to say. =]
做人如果没有梦想，跟咸鱼有什么分别？ ^^
Things happened these few months
It will be a long story to list out everything
so generally, I am still good I suppose.
Except that for the very second time
I actually cried because of my studies (yea, second time too bad lar)
Cuz the last time was when the day before I have my KH and History paper in Form3 I guess
I'm so stupid that I thought that arranging the schedule like that is a disaster
and there's a lot to study
so i end up crying there *failure*
But after that I continue to study for the exam *determined!!*
so this time was few days ago when I couldn't solve most of the maths past year question
I think like 60% and I just blanked in front of the paper *sob sob*
Staring at those questions, flipping through my notes to think how to do
where at last i did nothing but written some wrong and dunno what the crap i wrote =.=
thought of asking my housemate but a bit ashamed (what reason is this?!)
Reason: I'm afraid that I will disturb them and the question seemed so easy so if i go to ask them, I felt myself like a big fat loser, haha (so I admit it, face's value priceless!!)
conclusion: sitting there sobbing, then planned to go to ask lecturer the next day. (where's the face's value then? CRAP! )
by the way, we (my classmates and me) planned a trip to Pulau Perhentian, and I'm excited plus anticipating the trip. But big business, final exams first.
To be honest, I didnt did very well for my exams. So I pray my hard work will give out pretty results
this time. *fingers cross*
We're graduating! so much of fun but thought of leaving current path and stepping forward to another path was much of scaring/happy/dunno what to say. =]
做人如果没有梦想，跟咸鱼有什么分别？ ^^
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